Meet Rory, a 31-year-old nutrition student, and Elizabeth, 26, a music PR. I LOVE how they watermark their photography though – do you think there actually *is* a chair with this written on the back? Readers may not be aware of the shocking scandal behind each Guardian Blind Date column – the newspaper’s staff have been so desperate to fill their pages they’ve been sending TODDLERS and adolescents on the blind dates, but none of them have made it to print. CREATIVE, like a lie told by a child in serious trouble. UNPRETENTIOUS, like going to the shop in your slippers, totally unironically. Have another go, abandon the nerves, sod the shyness, meet somewhere with spit, blood and Carlsberg on the carpet. Click on the image to read the actual date before I pull up a chair and repeat the last syllable of everything they say to each other, like a child tormenting his babysitter. We may mock, but Elizabeth is single, 26, living in London and a woman. OPEN, like Patsy Kensit’s life in the first verse of . THOUGHTFUL, like a passive-aggressive note to a friend to remind them they still haven’t paid their share of the petrol money for that trip to Kirkcudbright in 1984. An 8 that looks back over its shoulder a second longer than it should, before turning away quickly. But like all the scores in the Blind Date column, they take on their true value once the last question has been asked. Ours is the most functional relationship I’ve ever been in.However, our relationship is getting sort of boring in the sex department and our 10-year age difference has contributed to my feeling a little settled down since he’s not as active as I am.
You either like her personality or you don’t – both directions in the extreme. I went to Spec Savers a few months ago for an eye test – opticians, please chew gum, thank you – and the woman behind the counter was marvelling at my wonky old Giorgio Armanis like the man himself had sashayed into the room to show off his new collection. It’s not going to be a chewy old boot in a gaff like this, is it? Why do we naturally start looking for poisonous weeds amid the lush grass that is confidence? How many qualifiers and explainers do we need alongside it to signal that it’s the kind? Confidence is such a controversial, lethal, wilfully bamboozling concept that I find it’s best to avoid talking about it altogether. Either that or they are pure filth and feel they should behave like this because their mothers are watching. If you wish to submit a question to the Stoic advice column, please send an email to massimo at howtobeastoic dot org.I will, of course, keep personal details out of the published version.Stoicism is a practical philosophy, as Epictetus often reminds his students: “If you didn’t learn these things in order to demonstrate them in practice, what did you learn them for?” (Discourses I, 29.35) Accordingly, for some time now I have been thinking about starting a “Stoic advice” column, a philosophically informed, hopefully useful, version of the classic ones run by a number of newspapers across the world.That “an adult man” isn’t a throwaway attempt at humour, it’s a motto carved upon her arm to remind her just how many arseholes she’s met off Tinder so far. So maybe confidence should be left be, added to the list of things were better off not mentioning: the fragility of human existence; why men dyeing their greying hair doesn’t quite look right; Top Gear. Readers, a confession: Rory is getting on my tits a bit. Elizabeth is in danger of joining him, to be honest. An 8 that says its hotel room number a little loudly at reception so their date can hear it from the bar. Rory’s firm 8 looks like it’s eyeing up a new life as a 7, actually, doesn’t it?